feel like it

as i strolled down the mall i came across a gift store. i wanted to get something for dave. something to express how i feel now. i got him a card. and after a day long work, i sat down and wrote it. my hands were shaking and my fingers were numb. my hand writing was like worms crawling on paper. doesn't matter. i just want to give him this card when i see him again. and after he reads it, we can bin it, or tear it up, or put it in the bottom drawer. we'll put this whole occasion behind us. symbolically.

a three dog life

i'm hoping there'll be an internet ready computer at maffra. but if not, i'd have my own comp to use. and if i can't connect it, i still got a book. i went out first thing this morning to get a book. and this book in the far left bottom caught my eyes. "a three dog life - a memoir". this book had been recommended to me by amazon based on my past purchase and search result. this book was once in my wish list, but i decided to get another one instead of this one. so hey, it's a sign, i keep running into this book, i should read it.

this book is about the author's husband, richard, hit by a car, destroying his short-term memory and consigned him to permanent brain trauma and he must live the rest of his life in an institution. the author had to build a new life afterwards, rather than abandon her husband, moving to a small country town, of a new family composed of three dogs. the author discovered a truth in the five years since the accident: you might not find meaning in disaster, but you may, with effort, make something useful of it. this is a book with great courage and great change.

someone went through so much more than me, and yet still able to rise again and make some sense of her life. i just have to go to the country for four days three nights, then relocate. that's all. seems so trivial.

adrenalin rush

i have been packing the whole day and it took so much of me that i had a massive adrenalin rush. i was pushing my limits, trying to achieve all i should achieve before i move out. and i did it. i finally did it. this house is now ready for moving first thing friday morning. however the adrenalin in my system still hangs around, now it's like i've drank 10 coffee and my heart is racing, my hands are shaking, i eat so fast i can't even control myself (so i bit my cheek), and i can't think straight. writing this is to calm myself down. hoping i'll be calm enough to take a shower and go to bed after dinner. i'll be heading off to maffra in less than 9 hours.

maffra: heart of gippsland

i'm heading off to maffra monday morning at 04:00. i try to have a more positive attitude towards it. in preparation to head off to the country first time in my life (also by myself), i came across the Gippsland Plains Country Road tourism information page. maffra is not that bad (if i weren't working with cattle compulsorily)

Maffra:
- wide range of information about district
- home of the Pino Deriu gemstone and mineral collection (did someone say gemstone?)
- local arts and crafts on display and for sale (cool, always wanted to go to a gallery, dave wouldn't)
- packaged tours arranged for visitors or tour operator
- wide range of souvenirs
- latest heritage historical publications

Things To Do:
- take a 4WD tour: overland gold adventures (unfortunately i'm driving 1300cc vvti echo)
- adventure action (hrmm, i'd do it if dave were here, honest)
- visit a gallery (if it's still open when i'm off, for sure)
- shop for antiques (i'll do anything starts with "shop for")
- visit a winery (yeah, why not)
- attend one of our events (no time...)
- participate in a wide range of sports (maybe not)
- book a gold panning session (haha, i would, seriously! sounds fun; and if i do go to africa one day, i'd be panning diamonds!!)

maffra is not that bad at all, just the fact that it's compulsory and i've to work, on top of being by myself at night really depresses me and takes the beauty of australian country away. but hey, it's a good place if i take a step back. so i say "go for it"

http://www.maffra.net.au/gippslandplains/maffra.htm

i found the one (or two)

since i donated boo boo's condo, it's time to look for a new one for his new home in hong kong. i have my favorites.

Cat Care Center:
Everything your cat could ever need in one stylish piece of cat furniture! This unit features a litter cabinet on the lowest level, play area at the center, feeding station and two large 18" X 18" sleeping trays at the top! There are plenty of scratching areas too: four altogether with options for adding more! Paws prints and a hanging catnip toy accentuate this piece. The Cat Center comes with two lower sisal posts. Litter Cabinet Area features a full extension slide out drawer can hold 100 lbs. Nickel handle included. Litter pan area is 20 3/4" X 14 1/2". 17 1/2" headroom fits even the largest cats. All exposed wood is sealed with polyurethane to make clean up quick, easy & sanitary. Optional entries available, choice of 8" or 10" entry. Feeding Station: height of feeding station when attached to condo is 56". Eating area is covered in no-wax vinyl flooring for easy clean up. Eating area measures 12" wide and 6" deep. Price: US $419.95 plus shipment.

Six Foot Rustic Cat Tree:
This rustic cat tree is made of eastern red cedar (also called aromatic red cedar) and is suitable for both indoor and outdoor use. It is six feet two inches tall with 4 perches leading to the 15" diameter wicker eagles nest. The perches are 16" X 11", 15" X 11", and two at 14" X 11" and are made of red heart wood, planed and sanded smooth. The base is 30" by 30". This rustic cat tree has been shaped, scraped, and hand sanded smooth yet retains its natural appearance. There are interesting contours and textures for your cats scratching pleasure. And cats can really dig their claws into this cat tree. Eastern red cedar is a perfect scratching medium for cats. The creamy wood is hard enough for satisfying scratching yet not as hard as splinter and stick in the cat's paws. The red heart and knot wood is very fragrant and the reason eastern red cedar is also known as aromatic red cedar. This Six Foot Rustic Cat Tree is 100% natural, solid cedar, no particle board, plywood, carpet, adhesives, etc. It has not been sealed so it still releases a wonderful cedar scent. It requires some easy assembly. Price US $399.95 plus shipment.

Boo Boo deserves the best and nothing less than the best

undiscribable 14

words cannot describe my feelings. its a mix of anxiety, excitement, nervousness, self-satisfaction, longing, dreading, enlightenment and with a bit of exhaustion. work was tiring but rewarding; my babies are on the process of arriving hong kong at the moment of writing this (the plane landed but they are in quarantine while dave deal with the paperworks). the home is half emptied and the kennel and cat condo donated. the blood bank cat "Henry" can now sits in the hospital accountant office and peeks outside to the reception (he looks so smart on it boo boo may get jealous!).

time passes so fast and so slow

not so dreadful 15

i was writing about daunting 16 yesterday. i don't know what difference does 16 and 15 make, but apparently tonight when i look at the calendar, all of a sudden, it's OK. it's not perfect, it's not even good, but it's OK. i think i'm gonna survive. i guess i just have to go do it.

i think i'm more positive because i found out if i'm free, i don't need to hang around the surgery ward. i can go off and do my stuff until the surgeon rings my mobile. and i'm free wednesday and friday. and things are interesting in uni. i assisted my 3rd (5th if you count just watching) TWLO, i'm a pro in leveling dog's hind legs now. and i got to draw on radiograph like an actual doctor. i'm having an open reduction for recurrent traumatic hip luxation. it's good. (but my arms seriously sore from moving heavy stuff and being human retractor)

reflection

i was watching the dog whisperer, and cesar millan said a dog is the reflection of its owner (personality wise).

this morning when i got mocha and boo boo inside the crates for hong kong, they looked so helpless and refused to leave the house. then i suddenly realized i was the one who shaped them, and i myself have a severe case of separation anxiety. that's why mocha barks whenever i leave the house and jumps and licks whenever i come home. that's why he never gets out of bed in the morning. that's why he picks his food. and that's why he bosses people around. he is a mini-doggy-me. and this is also why boo boo is lazy, fat, and demanding and meows and cries until he gets what he wants. mini-kitty-me.

but hey, this reflection theory goes both ways. that's why they're so adorable and loving and never have enough to give. that must be me!

daunting 16

16 more nights till my return. before that there are one week of orthopedic surgeries in uni, then one week in maffra. on top of all these i need to pack and move. i already got 13 bags going to donation in the salvation army. couple of bags already gone to my sisters. i have one full suitcase ready to go. i need to fill another suitcase and 2 large carry on bags. so much work. i'm physically exhausted. my whole body sores.

16 more days like this

competition for best parent

boo boo and mocha are leaving me in 7 days time. as the time draws closer i start to worry about them forgetting me. well, i don't think they will forget about me, but they may start to prefer their daddy, especially i started using pack leader discipline lately and their daddy will let them do absolutely whatever they want. so i bought mocha some pedigree dentix (dental stick, apparently he prefers this to dental bone), and boo boo another 6 cans of fancy feast (chicken heart and liver and seafood flavor). no way i'll let david be the preferred parent! no way!

tikka masala burn

stress induced ulcer in the mouth + lamb tikka masala = bad idea. it really burns.

by the way, i have always thought tikka masala is an indian dish, so wrong.

Tikka masala is a westernized "indian" dish based on baked meat (i.e. tikka) cooked in a curry sauce. it is highly popular throughout the world and is believed to have originated in the UK (doh!)

bio-shredder

i went to supermarket briefly for 30 minutes, and in the mist of exam, i forgot to lock my study door. bio-shredder Mr Boo came in and killed my toilet roll. i know for a fact that it's him and no one else because i can see "the kill" in the water bowl. he likes to drown.

balance

i need to be psychologically balance, and the best thing to balance a girl's mind is shopping. so i did. since i can't leave home, online shopping it is.

click to see what i got.

June 4th, 1989

I'm not sure how many more generations will remember this day. People are starting to forget and memories are fading away. Sooner or later today will become one of those dates that students have to memorize mindlessly for an history exam then forget about it immediately. Only thing I can do is to make sure at least my children know about it and they remember.

For those who sacrifice themselves for the process of democracy
R.I.P.

amendment

one more thing i learn last night

it's OK to get out of bed in the middle of the night when it's 9C, go to toilet, then come back to back with icy cold feet and step all over another person and steal body heat shamelessly

an important lesson

people write books and columns and articles and even poems about what they learn from their dogs. usually the themes will be something noble, like always be happy, never give up, to be loyal & non-judgmental etc etc. that's good. but i have something different. this is what i learn from my dog in the last two years:

- it's OK to be shitty annoying demanding and be a whinging sook AS LONG AS you are cute for 5% of the time and occasionally do something ridiculous
- it's also OK to pick your food. someone loves you will eventually give in and serve you something else
- it's OK to be lazy and let someone takes care of you (for the rest of your life) as long as you are sure that the person's love won't change
- it's OK to eat where you shit, or eat someone else's shit
- it's OK to fight, bully, even hump your sibling daily, your parents will love you both just the same
- it's OK to push your daddy off the bed so you can sleep inside your mummy's arm
- it's OK to eat on your parents' bed, you just have to put up with a little bit of scolding but you'll survive
- it's OK to keep sleeping when the whole household is busy and rushing; you don't need to care and no one is going to ask you to do anything

the last thing i learn from my dog, is i want to be reincarnated to be my own dog

cilantro

i love food guru podcast, more than often he adds this herb called cilantro to his dishes. i can't find this mysterious herbs in my local safeway. but then it looks so familiar. so i go search online. oh!

cilantro (in north america) = coriander (in australia) = chinese parsley (in asia)

i knew it! it's used in ways so similar to coriander, i just can tell.
how many more names can the same herb have.
but since i guessed it, i have this satisfactory feelings in my heart, and further strengthen my mind to be a stay home cook (or should i say domestic gourmet engineer?)