feel like it

as i strolled down the mall i came across a gift store. i wanted to get something for dave. something to express how i feel now. i got him a card. and after a day long work, i sat down and wrote it. my hands were shaking and my fingers were numb. my hand writing was like worms crawling on paper. doesn't matter. i just want to give him this card when i see him again. and after he reads it, we can bin it, or tear it up, or put it in the bottom drawer. we'll put this whole occasion behind us. symbolically.

a three dog life

i'm hoping there'll be an internet ready computer at maffra. but if not, i'd have my own comp to use. and if i can't connect it, i still got a book. i went out first thing this morning to get a book. and this book in the far left bottom caught my eyes. "a three dog life - a memoir". this book had been recommended to me by amazon based on my past purchase and search result. this book was once in my wish list, but i decided to get another one instead of this one. so hey, it's a sign, i keep running into this book, i should read it.

this book is about the author's husband, richard, hit by a car, destroying his short-term memory and consigned him to permanent brain trauma and he must live the rest of his life in an institution. the author had to build a new life afterwards, rather than abandon her husband, moving to a small country town, of a new family composed of three dogs. the author discovered a truth in the five years since the accident: you might not find meaning in disaster, but you may, with effort, make something useful of it. this is a book with great courage and great change.

someone went through so much more than me, and yet still able to rise again and make some sense of her life. i just have to go to the country for four days three nights, then relocate. that's all. seems so trivial.

adrenalin rush

i have been packing the whole day and it took so much of me that i had a massive adrenalin rush. i was pushing my limits, trying to achieve all i should achieve before i move out. and i did it. i finally did it. this house is now ready for moving first thing friday morning. however the adrenalin in my system still hangs around, now it's like i've drank 10 coffee and my heart is racing, my hands are shaking, i eat so fast i can't even control myself (so i bit my cheek), and i can't think straight. writing this is to calm myself down. hoping i'll be calm enough to take a shower and go to bed after dinner. i'll be heading off to maffra in less than 9 hours.

maffra: heart of gippsland

i'm heading off to maffra monday morning at 04:00. i try to have a more positive attitude towards it. in preparation to head off to the country first time in my life (also by myself), i came across the Gippsland Plains Country Road tourism information page. maffra is not that bad (if i weren't working with cattle compulsorily)

Maffra:
- wide range of information about district
- home of the Pino Deriu gemstone and mineral collection (did someone say gemstone?)
- local arts and crafts on display and for sale (cool, always wanted to go to a gallery, dave wouldn't)
- packaged tours arranged for visitors or tour operator
- wide range of souvenirs
- latest heritage historical publications

Things To Do:
- take a 4WD tour: overland gold adventures (unfortunately i'm driving 1300cc vvti echo)
- adventure action (hrmm, i'd do it if dave were here, honest)
- visit a gallery (if it's still open when i'm off, for sure)
- shop for antiques (i'll do anything starts with "shop for")
- visit a winery (yeah, why not)
- attend one of our events (no time...)
- participate in a wide range of sports (maybe not)
- book a gold panning session (haha, i would, seriously! sounds fun; and if i do go to africa one day, i'd be panning diamonds!!)

maffra is not that bad at all, just the fact that it's compulsory and i've to work, on top of being by myself at night really depresses me and takes the beauty of australian country away. but hey, it's a good place if i take a step back. so i say "go for it"

http://www.maffra.net.au/gippslandplains/maffra.htm

i found the one (or two)

since i donated boo boo's condo, it's time to look for a new one for his new home in hong kong. i have my favorites.

Cat Care Center:
Everything your cat could ever need in one stylish piece of cat furniture! This unit features a litter cabinet on the lowest level, play area at the center, feeding station and two large 18" X 18" sleeping trays at the top! There are plenty of scratching areas too: four altogether with options for adding more! Paws prints and a hanging catnip toy accentuate this piece. The Cat Center comes with two lower sisal posts. Litter Cabinet Area features a full extension slide out drawer can hold 100 lbs. Nickel handle included. Litter pan area is 20 3/4" X 14 1/2". 17 1/2" headroom fits even the largest cats. All exposed wood is sealed with polyurethane to make clean up quick, easy & sanitary. Optional entries available, choice of 8" or 10" entry. Feeding Station: height of feeding station when attached to condo is 56". Eating area is covered in no-wax vinyl flooring for easy clean up. Eating area measures 12" wide and 6" deep. Price: US $419.95 plus shipment.

Six Foot Rustic Cat Tree:
This rustic cat tree is made of eastern red cedar (also called aromatic red cedar) and is suitable for both indoor and outdoor use. It is six feet two inches tall with 4 perches leading to the 15" diameter wicker eagles nest. The perches are 16" X 11", 15" X 11", and two at 14" X 11" and are made of red heart wood, planed and sanded smooth. The base is 30" by 30". This rustic cat tree has been shaped, scraped, and hand sanded smooth yet retains its natural appearance. There are interesting contours and textures for your cats scratching pleasure. And cats can really dig their claws into this cat tree. Eastern red cedar is a perfect scratching medium for cats. The creamy wood is hard enough for satisfying scratching yet not as hard as splinter and stick in the cat's paws. The red heart and knot wood is very fragrant and the reason eastern red cedar is also known as aromatic red cedar. This Six Foot Rustic Cat Tree is 100% natural, solid cedar, no particle board, plywood, carpet, adhesives, etc. It has not been sealed so it still releases a wonderful cedar scent. It requires some easy assembly. Price US $399.95 plus shipment.

Boo Boo deserves the best and nothing less than the best

undiscribable 14

words cannot describe my feelings. its a mix of anxiety, excitement, nervousness, self-satisfaction, longing, dreading, enlightenment and with a bit of exhaustion. work was tiring but rewarding; my babies are on the process of arriving hong kong at the moment of writing this (the plane landed but they are in quarantine while dave deal with the paperworks). the home is half emptied and the kennel and cat condo donated. the blood bank cat "Henry" can now sits in the hospital accountant office and peeks outside to the reception (he looks so smart on it boo boo may get jealous!).

time passes so fast and so slow

not so dreadful 15

i was writing about daunting 16 yesterday. i don't know what difference does 16 and 15 make, but apparently tonight when i look at the calendar, all of a sudden, it's OK. it's not perfect, it's not even good, but it's OK. i think i'm gonna survive. i guess i just have to go do it.

i think i'm more positive because i found out if i'm free, i don't need to hang around the surgery ward. i can go off and do my stuff until the surgeon rings my mobile. and i'm free wednesday and friday. and things are interesting in uni. i assisted my 3rd (5th if you count just watching) TWLO, i'm a pro in leveling dog's hind legs now. and i got to draw on radiograph like an actual doctor. i'm having an open reduction for recurrent traumatic hip luxation. it's good. (but my arms seriously sore from moving heavy stuff and being human retractor)

reflection

i was watching the dog whisperer, and cesar millan said a dog is the reflection of its owner (personality wise).

this morning when i got mocha and boo boo inside the crates for hong kong, they looked so helpless and refused to leave the house. then i suddenly realized i was the one who shaped them, and i myself have a severe case of separation anxiety. that's why mocha barks whenever i leave the house and jumps and licks whenever i come home. that's why he never gets out of bed in the morning. that's why he picks his food. and that's why he bosses people around. he is a mini-doggy-me. and this is also why boo boo is lazy, fat, and demanding and meows and cries until he gets what he wants. mini-kitty-me.

but hey, this reflection theory goes both ways. that's why they're so adorable and loving and never have enough to give. that must be me!

daunting 16

16 more nights till my return. before that there are one week of orthopedic surgeries in uni, then one week in maffra. on top of all these i need to pack and move. i already got 13 bags going to donation in the salvation army. couple of bags already gone to my sisters. i have one full suitcase ready to go. i need to fill another suitcase and 2 large carry on bags. so much work. i'm physically exhausted. my whole body sores.

16 more days like this

competition for best parent

boo boo and mocha are leaving me in 7 days time. as the time draws closer i start to worry about them forgetting me. well, i don't think they will forget about me, but they may start to prefer their daddy, especially i started using pack leader discipline lately and their daddy will let them do absolutely whatever they want. so i bought mocha some pedigree dentix (dental stick, apparently he prefers this to dental bone), and boo boo another 6 cans of fancy feast (chicken heart and liver and seafood flavor). no way i'll let david be the preferred parent! no way!

tikka masala burn

stress induced ulcer in the mouth + lamb tikka masala = bad idea. it really burns.

by the way, i have always thought tikka masala is an indian dish, so wrong.

Tikka masala is a westernized "indian" dish based on baked meat (i.e. tikka) cooked in a curry sauce. it is highly popular throughout the world and is believed to have originated in the UK (doh!)

bio-shredder

i went to supermarket briefly for 30 minutes, and in the mist of exam, i forgot to lock my study door. bio-shredder Mr Boo came in and killed my toilet roll. i know for a fact that it's him and no one else because i can see "the kill" in the water bowl. he likes to drown.

balance

i need to be psychologically balance, and the best thing to balance a girl's mind is shopping. so i did. since i can't leave home, online shopping it is.

click to see what i got.

June 4th, 1989

I'm not sure how many more generations will remember this day. People are starting to forget and memories are fading away. Sooner or later today will become one of those dates that students have to memorize mindlessly for an history exam then forget about it immediately. Only thing I can do is to make sure at least my children know about it and they remember.

For those who sacrifice themselves for the process of democracy
R.I.P.

amendment

one more thing i learn last night

it's OK to get out of bed in the middle of the night when it's 9C, go to toilet, then come back to back with icy cold feet and step all over another person and steal body heat shamelessly

an important lesson

people write books and columns and articles and even poems about what they learn from their dogs. usually the themes will be something noble, like always be happy, never give up, to be loyal & non-judgmental etc etc. that's good. but i have something different. this is what i learn from my dog in the last two years:

- it's OK to be shitty annoying demanding and be a whinging sook AS LONG AS you are cute for 5% of the time and occasionally do something ridiculous
- it's also OK to pick your food. someone loves you will eventually give in and serve you something else
- it's OK to be lazy and let someone takes care of you (for the rest of your life) as long as you are sure that the person's love won't change
- it's OK to eat where you shit, or eat someone else's shit
- it's OK to fight, bully, even hump your sibling daily, your parents will love you both just the same
- it's OK to push your daddy off the bed so you can sleep inside your mummy's arm
- it's OK to eat on your parents' bed, you just have to put up with a little bit of scolding but you'll survive
- it's OK to keep sleeping when the whole household is busy and rushing; you don't need to care and no one is going to ask you to do anything

the last thing i learn from my dog, is i want to be reincarnated to be my own dog

cilantro

i love food guru podcast, more than often he adds this herb called cilantro to his dishes. i can't find this mysterious herbs in my local safeway. but then it looks so familiar. so i go search online. oh!

cilantro (in north america) = coriander (in australia) = chinese parsley (in asia)

i knew it! it's used in ways so similar to coriander, i just can tell.
how many more names can the same herb have.
but since i guessed it, i have this satisfactory feelings in my heart, and further strengthen my mind to be a stay home cook (or should i say domestic gourmet engineer?)

food...

(CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

well on top of all these things, i bought fresh salmon, fish fillets and seafood mix in the nearby seafood store and sun dried tomato chicken breast, chicken mignon and chicken pillow (pastry wrapped chicken) in leanard. i'm gonna spoil my stomach!

(i will consider putting on a diet the minute i finish my exam, i know people think it's impossible, but watch me.)

goal achieved

i listed 5 goals earlier today
i got them all done
well i haven't finished studying all the material obviously
but i tried
i wish i had been doing this for the last 2 days
would have save myself some unnecessary stress tonight and tomorrow night
probably not gonna have any sleep tomorrow night
so better rest up tonight

and buy coffee

threat

my next door neighbors got broken into. the burglar first entered the joining elementary school, then climbed over to my neighbors' garden, smashing their back windows and entered in board daylight. police knocked on my door this evening and asked me a few questions. i can hear my neighbors screaming at each other and hammering and fixing stuffs. they always argue.

i have 30 more nights in this house. the up coming exam, the relocation, the long distance relationship and the pets transit to hong kong are all stressful enough, now i've to worry about security. i'm totally distracted from my work.

30 more nights, pray for me.

chocolate monster

oh what exam has turned me into a chocolate monster along with 3 packs of Lindt, i also got Belgian Chocolate Mousse & Tiramisu

getting to work

i set my alarm at 9, but was awake way before that. then the baggage collector came, finally all my books were taken away from me. i injured my back moving those 30kg boxes couple days ago. but when the collector came, he just effortlessly picked them up, one by one, onto a trolley, and that's it. why did i bother weighting them if it's so effortless for the "professional" to handle. it was only 9. i tried to get back to bed, but i couldn't. so i decided to do the right thing. i got up, showered, and made a list. these are my aims for today:

get eyeshade
get food and groceries
organize money
get case report material prepared
study

i can do it
i just need to focus

ultimate laziness

my dog is lazy. it's an established fact. he's the only canine that does not get up with his owner in the morning. he just lies there, look at you with his sleepy eyes, and goes back to sleep. he hates the alarm. he will bark when the alarm ring, just to tell me to switch it off for him. he's also the only canine (without musculoskeletal disease) refuses to go for walks. i'll have to chase him around the house to put on the leash, then he'll be dragged to the front door. he'll try his bestest to pull the leash backwards so he can go back into the house. all in all, a very good dog.

his eyes are getting more and more teary recently and there is brownish discharge. so i brought him to an opthamologist today. he is diagnosed with a condition called "lazy tear duct". apparently the tear duct has an active pumping mechanism to help drain away the tears. there's no treatment for it, and some suggest that massaging the inside corner of the eyelids may help drainage. WHAT? my dog is so lazy that now i have to manually drain his tears for him! what a spoiled little thing.

new show

russell peters has a new stand up show, ticket selling in canada and US, and apparently toronto stop has already sold out. i checked the official website, no plan of a world tour yet. he has been to hong kong and melbourne for his last show "outsourced", so hopefully after his north america rounds i can see him LIVE

stuck

there was a joke from comedian russell peters, "Yo mama's so fat, when she jumps for joy, she got stuck!"

well, my cat is so fat, when he tries to play hide, he got stuck!

The Simpsons Movie

Hong Kong: Sept 8, 2007 (What? September!)
Australia: July 26, 2007 (I'd have just leave Aus, doh!)
USA: July 27, 2007 (Huh? One day LATER than Aus? Oh, time difference.)

But hey, when it comes out in the US, it means it's out on the internet.
NO! I'm not a filthy downloader. Not to my beloved Simpsons.

Quotes

Marge Bouvier Simpson:
"If I wasn't a housewife, I think I'd be a homemaker, or maybe a domestic engineer."
"Most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man. But those women are quitters!"
"It doesn't matter how you feel inside. It's what shows up on the surface that counts."

Homer J. Simpson:
"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never to try."
"Maybe, for once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'."

Bart Simpson:
"If I do something bad and there's no one there to catch me, does that make me good?"
"I can't promise I'll try. But I'll try to try."

Lisa Simpson:
"I refuse to believe that everybody refuses to believe the truth."
"You thought I couldn't, but I could, I did, and I could do it again."
"Ugh! I am sick of everyone being so proud of me!"

forbes

I heard there's a list of the "top 10 restaurants you must go to in your life" on Forbes, and one of the restaurant listed is in Thailand. As I'm planning to go there this Sept or Nov/Dec (more likely Sept, rainy season Nov/Dec), I really need to find out about this restaurant. If a restaurant is good enough to make it to Forbes, it's good enough for me! Subsequently I was on Forbes.com, browsing the lifestyle section. Unfortunately I got no luck locating that restaurant.

BUT WAIT! As I was going through the Travel section, I saw a very eye-catching title: "Most Romantic Places To Pop The Question". I clicked in, and was gonna see what this high profile magazine reckons. I read through the first paragraph, then something came into my mind. I vaguely remembered Dave told me "he has a plan" the other day when we were having a conversation about the "M----" subject. We try to limit our talk on the "M----" subject cause we both agree that the more we talk about it now, the less surprising and spontaneous it will get later on when time comes. And for the sake of not ruining it for myself, I clicked the "X" button and closed the browser. Something is better left unknown. This is one of them. (People that know me will know this is NOT my character to leave things unknown. I just have this urge to be a smart-ass and know everything and cut people short when they are saying something. This time, I know better)

study for the last time

i know this is the last time i ever have to memorize notes like this
but i just can't concentrate
the more i know i'm going to pass and i'm going to graduate
the less motivated i am

i'm further and further away from my macbook, sadly

scrap paper

i found this when i was tidying up

i bin the original
but memories never fade
sweet times

Chelsea Edges United to Win FA Cup

Since the goal was scored during extra time, and I bet on draw at 90 minutes, I still win.

Fine, you bet on 1-0. You win too.

But I put my Australian money on draw when you put your Hong Kong dollar on 1-0, you still owe me quite a lot due to exchange rate.

I always win. (but to make you happy I use chelsea blue for this post)

Edited

snapping hip syndrome

This is a condition that is characterized by a snapping sensation, and often an audible "popping" noise, when the hip is flexed and extended. There are several causes for snapping hip syndrome, most commonly due to tendon catching on bony prominences and "snapping" when the hip is moved.

The three primary causes for snapping hip syndrome:
Iliotibial Band Snap
Iliopsoas Tendon Snap
Hip Labral Tear


Tx of SHS:
Anti-inflammatory Meds
Cortisone Inj
Physical Therapy

joke of the day

hierarchy

Boo Boo The King
Wallis The Queen
Mocha The Prince
David The Subject

dancing with my star

i held boo boo up, in a hugging position. music was playing boyz II men's "i'll make love to you", and we started spinning, turning, stepping forward and backward, then we semi-waltz. when music changed, i put him on the pole, and started dancing in front of him, boy-band style. i laughed, he purred. we had fun.

tipsy me

had scallop pasta for dinner
added a cup of white wine into it
reduced for a bit then serve
apparently i havent reduce it properly
i'm tipsy
just a lil bit

motivation

To My Dearest Sheepy. Happy three year anniversary, I am so happy to have spent the last few years with you and am so looking forward to spending many more. I love you baby girl, love bambi

after reading these sweetest words, i studied my remaining urinary lecture in the fastest speed ever achieved

i'll be your naked chef

I Promise To Make You The Happiest Guy Ever

roses only

progression

• Feline Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy: done at 11:02
• Canine Myocardial Diseases: done at 11:48
• Pericardial Disease: done at 11:54
• Congenital Cardiac Diseases: done at 12:05

_____________________________________________________________________

• 2001-2006 RM Mitten's past exam questions: done at 7:19pm
• Anemias in Dogs and Cats: done at 7:34pm
• Shower + Anemia and Thrombocytopenia in Dogs and Cats: done at 8:21pm
• Past Questions on Anemia: done at 8:50pm
• Honey mustard chicken + nutritional diseases of dogs and cats: done at 9:49pm
• Nutritional Management of Some Common Clinical Ds of Dogs and Cats: done at10:14pm
  

be my witness

i love this blog, it shows the date and time when i upload my threads. so u see, i'm awake quite early today. i fed my babies, roll the big bin out to the curb, made coffee, took centrum and fibercaps, now on my way to studying.

again
today starts well (especially when someone calls me an angel)

let's keep it this way

involuntary manslaughter

if i didn't insist on seeing small white on webcam, nothing would have happened.
i should be charged.

extreme

itune was randomly playing songs from the Top 100 Love Songs playlist, and i happened to come across the original version of "more than words" by Extreme. i like it. i love it. it sounds more sincere and with a touch of country in the song (but then i always prefer deep mature men's voice over young guys')

today starts well

battle of the sexes

Moods of a Woman

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk;
At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.

Moods of a Man

Horny

Sequel

a while ago i saw an interview with Corinne Hofmann on 60 Minutes. Hofmann, an European woman, married a Kenyan Masai and lived in a remote village in Kenya and lead a Masai wife's live. after the marriage fell apart she fled Kenya with her baby daughter 14 years ago. she then turned this experience into an international bestseller, "The White Masai", then into a motion picture. the sequel, "Reunion in Barsaloi", describing her return to Kenya meeting with her Masai husband, is now available.

putting it down on my wish list

lick my boards!

no mistake, it's "lick my boards!"

i was eating sun dried tomato chicken breast on bone (pan fried to brown and seal then oven bake at 180C for 20mins), and some juice somehow got onto my keyboard. after i finished dinner and took the plate out, i saw mocha standing on the desk licking my board (key-)!!! funny thing

toxic

i broke a mercury thermometer about 3 days ago just inside the front door while taking off my equine gears. as tired as i was, i left the mercury droplets there. yesterday i found mocha licking my horse boots, which was quite normal behavior for him. but then i realized the mercury was right there and there was a chance that he could ingest some. now, mercury toxicity is well documented and in human it usually occur via ingestion of deep water fish. i'm quite sure the amount on the ground is more than that inside a fish. i was quite worried. but again, i was too tired yesterday to do anything about it, so i chased mocha into the lounge room and left the matter. finally i got some energy this afternoon so i swept the floor. amazing how trace amount of mercury droplets condense together and form a bigger drop. i was going to touch it (never touched liquid metal before) but i was afraid of toxicity through contact, so i didn't. i kind of feel like an negligent mum. i wanted to confess ever since i broke the thermometer, but i didn't have the courage to do so (i just might get killed). so i'm sorry, but nothing happened, mocha's still very much alive after 3 days of exposure, i'm sure he'll be fine.

longing

i keep wanting a mac so badly (yet to decide on desktop or laptop) and i check out apple.com rather frequently. unfortunately ox leopard won't make its debut until Oct 2007. my comp is dying and i need a replacement soon. buying a laptop makes more sense coz i'm moving to my friend's house mid-Jun (so i'll have less space) and i will have to work/sleep between mum's and dave's for 3 months later this year. it's just easier. but a desktop is more value for money (but i doubt mum's or dave's can accommodate another 20" monitor with keyboard/mouse etc. anyway, if leopard doesn't come out until Oct, guess i'll have to buy the top hardware with os tiger then upgrade in a couple months time. (seems like a waste of money even to me)

and i want this book: Switching to Mac: the Missing Manual (Tiger version)
i need a transition between the virus/bugs conquered and error-prone windows
http://www.amazon.com/Switching-Mac-Missing-Manual-Tiger/dp/
0596006608/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-6109313-2566420?ie=UTF8&s=
books&qid=1178333505&sr=1-1

The Bangles

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?

I believe it's meant to be, darling
I watch when you are sleeping, you belong to me
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?

Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling

Close your eyes and give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?

(atomic kitten re-sing the song in 2003, not even comparable to the bangles version)

tunes

i'm in touch with my musical self again. when dave's around i am more concern about other things than personal interests (well i guess being in love is a very big part of my interest too). anyway, i picked up where i left off ages ago. i started listening to music, new release, 90s, classic and oldies (i mean OLD). i realize i lost some songs over the years (dreadful computer crashes) and i start to get them back and listen to 'em again. i'm surprised that the internet people share not only the latest hits but some really good forgotten tunes too. its a bit hard to find old songs and every now and then i'm so tempted to just buy from itune (after all that's the right thing to do and it's only 99c US a song) but i managed to save up by tireless searching on net. i should mention the 'itune essentials' feature. its a collection of songs for a specific artist/genre/theme, and the playlists are always very well thought.

and i feel like putting up lyrics on my blog is highschoolish and i'm embarrassed but songs do depict my mood quite accurately.

my new attitude (inspired by an old song)

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar, I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly, I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar, I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

Hey if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly

RIP

Small White White
2007 April
I miss you before I meet you
and I know your Daddy loves you
Me too

P.S.

1. today's dermatology was a self quiz, i got 20/30. top class 26/30, she got a bottle of red wine from greg burton; i'm happy with myself.
2. found myself febrile so take 500mg paracetamol (along with chlorpheniramine, phenylephrine (!), noscapine and bromhexine because i haven't bother refilling my plain paracetamol)
3. neck pain getting worse, successfully achieve short term relieve by Salonpas but no real improvement without patches
4. try to listen to 2pac, wouldn't say i prefer babyface over 2pac for sure
5. got a torrent for 119.2Gb MTV but monthly limit 25Gb, gotta wait till i head back to hk, hopefully people still seeding (real good collection there)

the master

Yoda, the ancient and revered Jedi Master. Nine hundred years old, Yoda had trained Jedi for eight centuries, and was very powerful in the Force. Among his last pupils were the most important and reckless Jedi in recent history, Obi-Wan Mocha Kenobi and Luke Fat-Beer Skywalker.

count down 168

24/7 on call for equine rotation this monday 8:30 to next monday 8:30 inclusive, total168 hours

schedule:
Mon: backup 5pm-8am
Tue: off
Wed: on call 5pm-8am
Thur: off
Fri: on call 5pm-8am
Sat: off (both morning & evening)
Sun: on call 8am-8pm

case study

1 1/2 years old male neutered Chihuahua

Hx: 2 wks hx of soft feces. BIOP since 10 wks old, been feeding cat food (feline t/d w whiskas) the whole time. no soft feces previously. o changed to BID feeding instead of ad lib 2 wks ago (whiskas only). o observe feces getting softer especially this evening, some fecal staining on tail noticed. dog ate ~10g of chunky chocolate bar last night, o observed dog o/n, bit hyperactive. dog vacc up to date, wormed last week.

Subjective: BAR DUDE. NAD on PE but dog is abdo guarding. intestine may be thickened, fluid filled, semi-formed feces in rectum. some tartar on UL PM4 no gingivitis.

Objective: HR 160 RR panting MM P<2 sec

Assessment: gross appearance of feces consistent with small intestine ds (dt form feces and lack of urgency) D+ dt recent indiscretion (chocolate)? consequence of deworming? or allergic to cat food? DDx food intolerance, IBD >> SIBO, stress? can be all of the above

Plan: NPO 12 hrs, w&s. should rule out chocolate & dewormer effect. advice o switch to premium dog food gradually over 4 days. o to get hypoallergenic or i/d. follow up in 7 days

animal logistics

things have gotten a bit out of hands. the intense 4 weeks in a row rotations, the earlier than expected exam, the double relocation, the delay flight to hk, and on top emigrating the babies. no ones can take care of them (dave mum already said no and jess very willing but has exam and a broken heart to deal with). so the only way is to send 'em off earlier planned. they supposed to go back with me on Jul 4th, now very possibly going back to hk BEFORE me, on the 17th of Jun most likely.

Schedule: Application lodgement in AFCD May 2nd -> 5 working days for permit + 2 days postage -> permit land in my mum's hand May 14th -> immediate fax to JetPets -> hopefully get babies health check done before May 17th and again on Jun 15th (48 hours before departure) -> flying off Jun 17th

Finger crossed!!!

two tales (one sweet one enlightening)

as i was driving home today i saw this man jogging with his headphone on along one of the small residential drives in werribee. i instantly think of dave. didn't he say he jogs a lot these days? has he been keeping up with it? does he look like this man in front of me, sweaty but glowing with life and health? i wish he does. then all of a sudden i realize i have the broadest smile on my face. oh, the thought of dave does light me up. after realizing the fact that he can warm my heart, i silently confirm that i do love him (after all the fights)

and i watched a bit triathlon (the australian national ironman competition) with jess. the winner is not important to us (so what someone can finish going around an island in 9 hours, i do it in 20 min with a car). what touched us is when a slightly overweight mum of four and a 70 year old granny finish running the race. the mum, upon entering the finishing track, found her four children waiting for her there, and finished the race holding their hands. THAT'S ACHIEVEMENT. (the mum and the granny finished in 16hrs and 20hrs respectively)

oh what a feeling!

finally had my car serviced, its long overdue. cost me a fortune but i had my front brake pads changed. i was paranoid for a long time on their safety issues. finally i can go on a highway with more confidence and not purposely drive at 95km/hr because i'm scared. oh and i finally got my car washed too! been a while since it was last seen clean without a coat of dirt over it (so the Quik Silver is actually metallic and reflective instead of dull)

i'm happy!

microsoft wired desktop 500

fortunately for me my new keyboard is spill resistant. it says "enjoy a drink while you work: this keyboard is designed to withstand an accidental spill." well, i personally road-tested this function and it holds true to its claim! it is resistant to coke zero spill. unfortunately this keyboard is not STAIN resistant, i still have to wipe it.

pheasant

i started my exam preparation this week. the first subject to tackle is bird. and i come across the word "pheasant" a lot. notes read: pheasant, not so much poultry, more of a game bird... blah blah blah...

then i remember the date in donovans. was it my birthday or our anniversary? anyway, that was a nice night, and i have sweet memories. i had roasted pheasant from swan hill with its sausage, confit leg and chestnut puree. how did i remember? i don't. it was from donovans website. i wish we can go again.

(and have some four-way duck entree)

and i kept daydreaming about that night and i forgot to study

jab-baholic

i love jabbing needles in my cat, the fact that he doesn't even notice the jab gives me thrills. the key is to jab him while he's in his first minute of eating. for better results, put some liver treats in regular whiskas, he is guaranteed not to react.

Stickwitu

i don't want to go another day
so i'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
seems like everybody is breaking up
throwing their love away
i know i got a good thing right here
that's why i say

nobody's going to love me better
i'm going to stick with you
forever
nobody's going to take me higher
i'm going to stick with you
you know how to appreciate me
i'm going to stick with you
my baby
nobody ever made me feel this way
i'm going to stick with you

and now
ain't nothing else i can need
and now
i'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
i got you
we'll be making love endlessly
i'm with you
baby, you're with me

so don't you worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bringing us down
i know you and you know me
and that's all that counts
so don't you worry about
people hanging around
they ain't bringing us down
i know you and you know me
and that's why i say

nobody's going to love me better
i'm going to stick with you
forever
nobody's going to take me higher
i'm going to stick with you
you know how to appreciate me
i'm going to stick with you
my baby
nobody ever made me feel this way
i'm going to stick with you

fatigue

i'm quite exhausted from writing the clinical seminar report and preparing my surgical report and grand round (before the dog even has the surgery!) anyhow, i was looking up journals, and this one popped up: International Journal of Fatigue. at first sight i thought it was about being tired, like me. i laughed my head of in front of my desk and was wondering who the hell write a journal of fatigue. do we talked about cramming exam? driving for 3 hours? standing in neurosurgery for 8 hours? bad mattress? or listening to my mother in a long queue in HSBC on a monday lunch time?

it was about surgical implants biomechanical fatigue. boring. i like my understanding of J Fatigue more.

spoiled

this is a bigger suitcase than depicted. it looks relatively small compared to the size of my cat. i am so busy doing my things these days i've neglected my babies. to compensate i feed them a lot. and now that's what my cat becomes: fur wrapped adipocytes. he'll be on a strict diet starting... hmm... Apr 15, when i shall return melbourne.

Babies

Above: I was packing so I emptied one of the storage boxes. Boo boo took the chance and curled up in there for a nice lil nap. He can appear much smaller than he actually is.

Below: Mocha never pays any attention to this kennel until Boo boo starts thinking it's a shady place. Now Mocha wants a piece.

my lateral thinking

i was listening to music, TOP 100 HipHop R-B Billboard 2006 (newly downloaded old songs, i know). then i came across some lyrics that i don't quite get. so i go to urban dictionary. and on their front page they have words of the day. i learn something new:

BiPodding:
Sharing a single set of headphones attached to one iPod. One person holds the iPod and takes teh left earbud, the other takes the right earbud. Can be performed while moving.

Dave and Wallis are bipodding in the train to work.

MC:
1. A prefix to almost any term. Used in comical situations to describe almost eerything.
2. Sarcastic mockage of McDonald's operators. Used whilst ordering at McDonalds.

1. Mc-Dave went to mc-get me some mc-donalds.
2. "Hi welcome to McDonalds how may I take your order?" "I'd mc-like to mc-order a mc-chicken mc-cheese mc-burger. Hold the mc-cheese. Hang on I need to mc-go to the mc-toilet. Mc-scuse me... mc mc mc..."

I didn't mc-say I wasn't mc-bored at mc-home. Why mc-else would I mc-look at mc-urban dictionary? Funny how mc-hiphop mc-music can mc-lead to so much mc-bulcrap. My mc-lateral mc-thinking.

asia miles

i really appreciate my travel agent. he could have easily sold me a full price one way ticket and make a good profit. but instead he helped me redeem a free ticket from asia miles and paid the airport tax through the company account. so i already got a e-ticket in my comp without paying a cent. (i saved AUD 1100, amazing!)

dave insisted one of the agents has a crash on me, but this time's a different guy. i think it's company policy to be helpful to long term customer (i've been buying from them for 5 years)

a smooth day

finally did my radiography reading quiz today. three students were allocated to do the reading this afternoon. roger made it such that the later you do the reading, the harder it would be. fortunately i usually go first (well, nothing to lose; besides, i don't like to look bad following a very good presentation) and so i had the first radiograph. it was a pneumothorax. easy. but i forgot the term tension pneumothorax (i was under some tension myself at that time), but i did manage to describe it. then it became harder and harder, and the last radiograph was impossible. every seemingly abnormal finding was "changes that can happen but not significant or within normal limit of variations" lucky i went first.

i think i did ok
thank god it wasn't a horse limb, and extra thank you god that wasn't a horse hindlimb

Flying Colors

Steve Holloway (the maestro of internal medicine, disciple of the great Russel Mitten) gave me one short line of commentary on LMS:

excellent case report Wallis



that's all i need to know, concise

smiles

the top ranking scenes that make people smile from their heart:
1. baby smiles
2. puppies
3. kittens
let me present you with all three

you smiled?

Bad Day - Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You Stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carry' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

(Oooh... a holiday...)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

You had a bad day
You had a bad day

We'll be just fine, trust me

honors

i finally gether myself to ask about how to graduate with honor. apparently it's a percentile system, including people from previous 4 year levels. it's a complicated thing. but when i asked about my chances of getting an honor degree, the response was "you have a fair chance". now what the hell does that mean?! i guess it means if i work my arse off this year and the next then i can get it. but do i want to? that brings me to another question, do i believe i deserve to graduate with honor? most people do heaps more work than me. is it fair for me to graduate with honor? probably not. but i still have this remote hope in the back of my mind. so far i'm traveling smoothly. but i skip most rotation and leave my assignments last minutes. so i guess the answer i always know is: no i shouldn't be an honor gruduate but i still want to be one. conflict (yea, it's the left and right brain again)

another contributing factor to my insomnia, and from personal experience, temazepam doesn't work, so do not premed an animal with benzodiazepam along, waste of time (hang on, they may have less complicated thinking, so who knows ^.^?)

cerebral vascular accident

sorry it's been a while. i wasn't lazy but nothing much happened worth writing. the last week passed like a blur, probably because i lived like a zombie. so emotionally and physically drained. my body finally gave in and gave me this massive headache. i could feel my pulses on my forehead, back of my neck and my eyelids. my eyes are painful, i was suspecting glaucoma. worst of all i had double vision (luckily only for a few seconds). thought i was going to have a stroke (more correctly cerebral vascular accident). i dunno why i thought of a stroke, i guess the tv has been repeatedly telling people to watch for signs pre-stroke. i realize it was probably tension headache and the pain contributed to the blurry vision (maybe i have increase IOP?). why do i get tension headache? i guess my left brain (the logical part) and my right brain (the care-free part) had a fight. Right brain, obviously, really wants time to pass quicker so i can be back in hk sooner; left brain, being the logical center, tells me i shouldn't wish time to pass because heaps of matters are not resolved yet in hk. like dave still need to find a place to stay and so far the bargaining are not looking good. we keep increasing our budget from 7k to 8k to 9k. and that's as much as we'd go. but any kind of decent place wants 10k; damn, 1k makes all the difference in the world. things will be so much smoother if i work too. i really can't wait to get into the working force and start building our life together. right now, i want to make a wish, and time suddenly passed and it's next thursday and everything is done and settled and i just need to fly back. sigh, growing up is PAINFUL!

Do Did Done

finally it's end of the week and i successfully crammed through all the academic work i needed to do; i did moderately well (i hope). however being absent 2 days out of 5 and late in the friday grand round and had my phone rang (stupid groupmate called) in the consult, i may score low in my performance part. anyway, it's all over. now i can do something relaxing. like drink my coffee because i like the taste of it but not for its caffeine.

(why do people say do did done, how bout doing?)

Babyface

I don't wanna die tonight, but I think I might be going down
'Casue the only one I ever cared about is nowhere to be found
I don't wanna close my eyes 'cause I might not see the light of day
I'm almost out of air
You're my reason for breathing
You're my reason for breathing

So I'm reaching out on this distant line
Hoping deep inside your heart's gonna find a reason
To keep me breathing
But I'm lost in this pain and I don't have much time
I'm so tired of walking this same old line
So I'm taking my pride, gonna throw it aside
Please let me breathe baby, I'm sorry

procrastinator

that's me! i knew i had to do a case report and grand round before this week, i told myself i would do it after clinsem. then i decided to take a break because there was no case and i needed to reward myself; then i got a case today. i really should be researching. but nah, i decided to sleep early. i hate it when i'm feeling lazy and guilty at the same time.

muffin

I LOVE MY MUFFIN

I LOVE IT SOFT AND WARM

AND I LOVE IT WHEN THE AROMA FILLS THE ROOM

HMMM... MUFFIN

urban dictionary

one of the earlier post title was 'slam dunk'. a funny thought came into my head, what if it means something i totally NOT intend it to mean (after all my street english's not that good, i'm not hip enuf) so i double check with the urban dictionary (define your world, at least that's what they claim)

Slam Dunk

1. the high-percentage shot in basketball. performed by stuffing the ball down thru the rim, and generally done with some force. can be done in a number of creative ways (yes they do)

2. a sure thing, even money, in the bag (this definition is more confuse than those in oxford concise)

3. what they said (wtf??)

4. codename for a girl/girls who you don't know but talk to

5. one of the greatest sport comics

6. (noun) a person who has testes and a vagina, but has no penis (that would be a male pseudohermaphroditism, bunch of dunno jack ppl on urban dictionary)

and finally

7. the act of forcing a woman's head into the toilet while slamming her either doggy style or in the ass. the head dunk is usually accomanied by a flush or two (i most certainly DID NOT mean this)